Daily Archives: November 9, 2014

Day 9 NaBloPoMo; My Work in Non-motivation pt. 2 of 3

I spent some time working on “non” motivational skills before I quit smoking.  I was looking for something to sustain myself through the withdrawal.  In the past when my motivation had waned, I’d quit quitting, and would decide to try again later when my willpower was stronger.

With the False Quit Dates, I was getting tired of relying on motivation.  It was a frustrating lesson because motivation is so fleeting.  Motivation has peaks and valleys of energy flow.  If my to-do list consists of exercising and cleaning house, motivation may have me expending my energy to one so I can avoid the other.  Sometimes, when I was sitting around waiting for motivation to manifest itself, I could have done the chore.  There were times where motivation had never come.

Instead of waiting for motivation, I was training myself to just get it done.  I’ve never been in a job that I particularly loved nor was a natural extension of myself.  I’ve never been motivated to go to work.  Except I do, everyday, rarely call in sick, and do my best while I am there. I also may whine all the way through it, but! I show up, do my job, get paid and pay my bills.

Why am I doing this?  Honor.  Integrity.  Money.  Fear of being lazy.  I want to succeed. (Although success has more to do with my back up plans.) But seriously? Because when hired, I said I would show up and do the work.  I made an agreement with my employer, I’m told what time to show up and I show up.

Overlay this onto cleaning house. A lot of my lessons in motivation centered around household chores and adjusting my attitude towards them. First I had to ignore the urge to look inward for that quickening that brings energy and excitement to mundane things.  You know, when all done to go, “Wow, that was fast!  And so easy!” — Don’t search for it.  Don’t wait for it. — I say I’m going to do the chore.  I allow enough time for the chore. (It’s not race nor competition to best any times set in the past.)  I do the chore, because I said I would and it is time.

I did keep it kind of loose, like…  I need 20 minutes before work, after work, before bed, but, I had to get it done that day.

Again, overlay this lesson on to quitting smoking.  I continued with the False Quit Dates because I knew being ready wasn’t just going to come from nowhere.  I learned how to be ready and be ready without a doubt in my mind.  I was making some big moves, such as putting money down on a cabin.  I was going to leave my family for two weeks.  I was to be by myself with no distractions and no excuses.  Most of all, no cigarettes. I was also giving myself every opportunity to quit without those big moves.  If I didn’t quit at the end of this, I was never going to quit.   But I did.  Because I was ready and because I didn’t rely on motivation or will power.  I quit because I wanted to quit and I said I was going to quit and I allowed enough time to finish the quit.  (the withdrawal)

These days, I overlay this lesson on exercising.  Even though I have all this knowledge, it is hard keep it routine.  I haven’t done any real exercising for over two weeks now, but in the meantime, I got a lot of other stuff done.  Does that make it right?  Does that make it okay?  I can say that it’s different from exercising a few years ago, I’m not so negative about downtime.  I know I will pick it up again.  I also believe the downtime is shorter in duration.  I don’t wait for motivation to schedule a time to exercise.

Working on my “non-motivational skills” has been one of my best time savers.

My Work in Non-motivation pt. 1 of 3

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Hating It Is Not Relevant

Nebraska storm by Anne Goforth

Nebraska storm by Anne Goforth

Today, I’m cleaning cupboards, doing laundry, dishes and cooking, all while still feeling the effects of the time change.  I’ve spent most of the day alone and winter is threatening to appear on Monday.  Now I am feeling the pressure of completing my November goals of NaBloPoMo and doing something on my timeline before midnight. All in all I have to say I’m having a pretty good day. It has been four years since I’ve done the work to quit smoking and back then I wouldn’t have said that about today.  I’d be in a panic, spurring to get everything done and would stay up until 4:00 am if I had to.  If I went to bed without finishing my projects, something might have come up and I might start another project before finishing the first one.

Today I’m more trusting that I am going to finish a project after getting some sleep, but the biggest impact I had for a day like today is, hating it is not relevant, because you have to do it anyway.

How often do you hear someone say, I can’t stand doing dishes.  I hate dusting.  I will not do windows. All I get in the mail are bills, I hate bills.  How often in a day do you say and hear someone say I hate ___.  Just take one day to listen for it.  You don’t have to do anything about it, just listen for it.  Then take into consideration does it make a difference if you hate it or not?  You still don’t need to do anything about it, just be aware.

For instance, I hated doing dishes, so I never wanted to do them.  I’d put them off, but then there would be more.  Soon, I would run out of dishes and if I wanted a dish I would need to wash it.  There were always other things that I needed to do, but I always had to stop and wash dishes.  The solution? Quit hating it.  Most people think that they can’t help if they hate it or not.  I found that wasn’t true. The trick was that I wasn’t forcing myself to like it. It is not a one or the other deal.  All I had to do was to quit hating it. If dishes need to be done everyday, why put in the time to hate it everyday.

There was a transition period where I had to give myself constant reminders to not hate it, but eventually the not-hating won out.  I found rhythm and routine and now I can get it done without getting all bent out of shape.  It’s been nice.

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