If I could eliminate one thing to worry about? It would be worry.
One of the most powerful epiphanies I ever had, one where I literally felt my universe shift, was that I can care without worry.
They are two different things! Worry is worry and caring is caring. I don’t have to demonstrate worry to show that I care.
I actually had to take a couple of days to work on this one. I had to catch myself when I felt I had to demonstrate worry, and think quickly, okay I’m not worried, don’t be worried: just care … how do I care? … why do I care? … what do I do because I care? And the biggie, if worried is not involved; what is caring?
Most of the time the “shift” was about taking my focus of me and what I do and say and place my focus on listening to the other person or pay attention to the situation.
- Simply put, I shut up and nod when other people talk.
- I quit trying to prove that I understand by telling my story when they are telling theirs.
- I quit trying to cover all bases and answer questions before they were asked.
- I quit trying to prove my intelligence, in the face of whatever is a concern to them.
The result is they feel cared for.
If it is a situation, plans formulate to take action, but only after a complete understanding of the situation. No wasted time. No wasted effort. No explanations of, “I thought.” No embarrassment.
I do dishes and clean the floors because I care about my house, not because I am worried about what other people think. Or worry that things are getting out of control. The surprising thing, is this comes in really handy when I don’t have time to get it done. Since I know I care, I just find a time to do it when I can and get it done then. No regrets about what I did instead.
Furthermore, now when I care, I actually care. I am more formidable because I have passion instead of worry. I can act swiftly because I don’t have the weight of the world on me. I don’t worry about being wrong. If I truly care, I am staying on topic and moving forward.
In the spirit of Veteran’s Day, if we could eliminate one worry? That would be to resolve the conflicts and bring our troops home.