Monthly Archives: April 2016

Points To Address For The Feminism Movement pt 10

Generations of us women have done our part to break the chains of the kitchen and the never-ending laundry. Here are some conflicts that, for me, arise nearly on a daily basis. I wonder if you feel the same?

If you struggle looking for a mentor, quit looking and BE the mentor.

We aren’t debutantes who need to be presented. Examples come in many forms, from the Internet to the people standing in front of you. What you can do, is to start speaking up for others, be the mentor you wish you had.

The point is … Trust your gut and blaze your path.

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Points To Address For The Feminism Movement pt 9

Generations of us women have done our part to break the chains of the kitchen and the never-ending laundry. Here are some conflicts that, for me, arise nearly on a daily basis. I wonder if you feel the same?

Quit asking permission.

This is what empowerment is. We need to teach that. We can’t look to men or the government for permission.  That is the opposite of empowerment.

We got the “green light” with the Equal Right Amendment and the right to vote. There is nothing more to do except deal with your own self.

Set your sights on a goal, learn what you need to know and go after it. For example, if you aren’t getting paid as much as the others then find out what the pay rate is and go ask your employer for that pay rate.

If women are empowered to haggle a lower price for a good deal, why aren’t they negotiating a higher salary? Both moves cut into the opposing side’s portion while managing their own portion.

The more we get specific in the fight for equality, the more we create an uneven playing field.  The Man’s world is not equal. They are always battling each other for a line up in whose the best. Who is the richest, smartest, fastest, strongest, slyest.  They want to be the most successful.  The best provider.  If they feel inadequate, they will think of something to be the best in and go after it.  When we ask for equality with men, we need to know what we are asking to be equal to.

If women knew how to do it we would be making more than men.  We need to learn how to do it and then share that knowledge.

The point is … If we have equal rights, then we don’t need to ask for equal rights. We pursue our individual freedoms to make them our own and that is equality.

Points To Address For The Feminism Movement pt 8

Generations of us women have done our part to break the chains of the kitchen and the never-ending laundry. Here are some conflicts that, for me, arise nearly on a daily basis. I wonder if you feel the same?

Learn and teach how to support the other woman’s decisions.

The time for detesting other women is over. Other women are not your competitors. Supporting another woman isn’t taking anything away from you. You don’t have to agree with a woman’s ideas to support her plan … to support her.

Even when losing a competition or career position to another woman, you need to figure out how your loss affects your plan and adjust accordingly. These adjustments can’t include how to undermine the other woman.  People are entitled to their own overall plan and you need to focus on your own plan.

Here is the conflict.  We want independence, yet we attach ourselves to the herd.  We are pressed with this urgent need to worry about being left behind the herd.  As if we are going to let the whole gender down.  We also worry about other women jumping ahead of the herd.  And we are vicious about it. We gossip, sneer, belittle, and call each other names.

We need to learn and then teach how to deal with these issues of jealousy and attachment. We aren’t going to learn how to cope with these issues from men as they are more bewildered about females than we are.

These lessons need to be taught by women, which means you. That means we need to learn through trial and error and teach what works.

The point is … Another woman’s conjecture or presumptions have nothing to do with you and your timeline. So keep your negativity out of other women’s timelines and focus on your own.

Addendum — Seriously. I find it odd that I first wrote this draft months ago because, I just got passed over for a promotion and I’m putting this into practice right now.  Ugh, I was being groomed for this position!  So, believe you me, I’m watching and learning to see how this applies to my overall plan.  There will be more on this later.

Points To Address For The Feminism Movement pt 7

Generations of us women have done our part to, “break the chains of the kitchen and the never-ending laundry.” Here are some conflicts that, for me, arise nearly on a daily basis. I wonder if you feel the same?

When it comes to big moves, change the dialogue to encompass life.

Your career life and your life as a mother are two parts of a whole unit — you. People make big moves in new careers all the time.  People go on sabbaticals.  Others lose their jobs and have to start over. Some start their own business.  Just because this work/stay home decision deals with Motherhood or Parenthood, everyone acts like the consequences are stacked against them.

If you have a yearning to stay home, that is a big move. Who knows, if you stay home you might come up with an entirely different career path; a better one. Maybe that is why you have the yearning to stay home.

You are doing a disservice to your children by not living out your own life. If you feel the need to stay home, stay home. If you feel the need to work, work.

The point is … Make big moves to advance your life as a whole and not just one part.

 

Points To Address For The Feminism Movement pt 6

Generations of us women have done our part to break the chains of the kitchen and the never-ending laundry. Here are some conflicts that, for me, arise nearly on a daily basis. I wonder if you feel the same?

Motherhood is not a living sacrifice. Motherhood is teaching.

Your life is whatever you want it to be. When these little humans are born, you invited that person into your life, so lead the life you are supposed to live, while teaching the little ones how to live theirs.

Yes, things will be rearranged to make room for each new person in your life.  You may find that you need more than the standard six weeks family leave, but you are still you. If you short-change yourself through sacrifices, your children learn that. What are you teaching them if you tell your children to listen to their heart as you ignore yours?

The point is … Do what you need to do because that brand new little human is your witness and your student. Live your truth and teach the child how to find their truth.

Points To Address For The Feminism Movement pt 5

Generations of us women have done our part to break the chains of the kitchen and the never-ending laundry. Here are some conflicts that, for me, arise nearly on a daily basis. I wonder if you feel the same?

Taking care of our possessions is a sign of maturity, not a sign of materialism.

Please. Ponder with me for a moment – Do we send mixed messages about materialism, unintentionally creating a throwaway society?

When people clean their homes, do they feel conflict, as if they’re acting materialistically?
Does cleaning an object come across as placing value on the item?
Have we reached a stage where we consider a mess honorable as for proof that material things aren’t important?
If something breaks, does materialism justify that there are more important things going on than to worry about getting a replacement?
If this is the case, let’s be clear — Materialism is having more than you can take care of. Materialism is discarding one item then buying another instead of making the most of what you already own.

Maturity is the ability to care for your material things without being overwhelmed. Mature people know they can do without. Maturity is you knowing that life and relationships are more important than anything.

The point is … Don’t buy it if you can’t take care of it.

Points To Address For The Feminism Movement pt 4

Generations of us women have done our part to break the chains of the kitchen and the never-ending laundry. Here are some conflicts that, for me, arise nearly on a daily basis. I wonder if you feel the same?

Cleaning and basic household chores are about taking care of you.

Chores are about a woman and her stuff and have nothing to do about enslaving her to a man and family. A single woman still needs to do the dishes, dust, wash clothes, clean out the tub and shower. Why? So she can have a plate ready for her next meal. So she can step into a clean shower to get clean. So her favorite clothes are ready for when she wants to wear them.

In our long battle with rights to equal work and equal pay, we have vilified the words “housewife” and “homemaker.” These words have evolved into derogatory terms. Basic household chores are considered demeaning and unworthy of our attention. These negative implications contradict the idea that a clean place is welcoming and a well-kept person is approachable.

To maintain a manageable day, we have to recognize that the things purchased with the money we earn, need care and maintenance. If you want it or bought it, you have to take care of it.

The point is … Whether single or married, with children or not, work inside or outside of the home, male or female for that matter, if you have a place to come home to, then you are a “homemaker.”

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