Tag Archives: Goals

I Wanted Change; I Got Change!

For the first time in my life, I got fired.

I’m not reacting like I thought I would.  Most of the evening I’ve been shivering like the after effects of an adrenaline rush.  Every once in a while I have to shake off the shock, you know because it’s awkward sitting there and letting the situation of we’ve decided to let you go play out. I came home to a caring husband; I had a couple of beers with some girlfriends, and I had some laughs with my sisters over a group video chat. I’m short on sleep, but it is more about excitement rather than anxiety.

I should be upset that someone didn’t want to keep me around. That they didn’t care about my livelyhood enough to keep feeding me a paycheck. There was nothing really wrong, but there was nothing really right either.  It wasn’t a good fit and for that I got fired.  Wow! I got fired! Are you kidding me? I don’t get fired.

Yet, I’m not too broken up. I’m not bawling over it. Actually, I’m really curious about what is next. So, I figure I’ve got about three to four weeks before I really start freaking out about money. Starting tomorrow (Sunday) I’m going to make the most of it.

It is supposed to get up to 70 degrees so I am going to walk a marathon.  I’ve biked the loop around the city several times, and I’ve wanted to walk/run it. So I will do it tomorrow. I’m sure it will take me all day. I’ve been running on the treadmill the last two months so I will just be going overboard and not extremely overboard from a sedate winter.  Hopefully that will wring bad energy out of every cell in my body.

Starting Monday, I’m going to write and turn the next section of my proposal in to my writers group.  Maybe by the beginning of next week I will shoot off another round of query letters to agents.

I had hit a little bump in the road with the Geographical Oddity quest.  I was going to write about that instead of this post, so now I will have time. I’m going to continue my efforts on my diet an my work for getting 100 people in a room.

My husband and I also started tearing out the bathroom so we will be finishing that and maybe I will do the sewing project that has been lying around.

On top of all that I will turn in a couple of applications per day and spend some time with friends and family.

All is good until I have to make a car payment. Until then I’m curious as to what God has in store for me.

Advertisements

Geographical Oddity: Change

Okay, big changes have been happening.  For one: I got a new job. Both better hours and better pay.  Plus I only work with three people and we all get along.  …so far, we’ll see how everybody fares the increase in summer business.  For two: I think my gastroenterologist and I have done what we can with the gut so now I am seeing someone in integrative medicine.  This doctor works with a health coach and does acupuncture.  Now I feel that my actions and reactions are better charted.

The worst part is that I’m on an elimination diet … again.  No caffeine. No sugar. No sugar substitutes.  No eggs.  All whole foods, so no bread (not even gluten-free), no sausage.

I was adding maple syrup to sweeten up some stuff, such as hot almond milk,  because some diets allow this low-glycemic sweetener and I don’t react.  Even though I was only having three Tablespoons a day, I was surprised that I naturally cut back to one because even that small amount was just getting a little too gooey-sweet.

For the most part we have eliminated FODMAP foods, histamine foods, high glycemic foods. I hardly eat any fruit and those are just blueberries, blackberries and cantaloupe.  I still get a bloom, or two, or three, on my tongue which lasts about four or five days. Right now I’m blaming turnips, but I’m getting to the point where maybe I have cut through the inflammation and found the real geographic tongue. We’ll see.  There isn’t much more food I can cut out.  So if I can stick to foods that I have been eating for another two weeks, I think I can get a clean slate to start adding foods back in.

Furthermore, I have been running.  Everyday I leave work and stop by the gym before I go home. I’m off work at 5:30 and I have my alarm set for 6:30 and when it goes off I get off the treadmill. I have to take my speed and distance for what it is. It differs because I don’t get out of work right away.  Sometimes I get 45 minutes in, sometimes I only get a half-hour in.  Right now my best is 2 miles in 28.5 minutes.

I’ve lost 12 pounds since January 23rd.  I haven’t had a migraine quality headache since, but I have had withdrawal aches, pains, and cravings, especially with caffeine.  I did have light to medium blooms on my tongue four different times, so I am still looking for that clean slate.  I feel great except I need to have more variety of food.  This is no way to live, although I am hopeful because I feel like I finally found what normal feels like.

Geographical Oddity: Migraine Quality Headaches

Here I am, another morning hunched at the desktop, working through a migraine quality headache. I don’t think it is a true migraine because that has something to do with arteries. I’m sure this is lymph nodes. If the pain isn’t equaled to a migraine, it’s right below it and I always function though it with a heavy head.

This is such a waste of a day off, but I’m glad I don’t have to go into work like this.  I get too many migraine quality headaches to call in sick, so I just work through them.  I hate having my productivity or attitude judged by customers, co-workers, or management, so I will usually slink off and do some background work until I feel the tell-tale signs of a pounding heart-beat, rapid breathing, a hot-flash, then break out in a sweat. Then relief.

I write nearly every morning, migraine or not.  For one; I’m proving to myself that I am still productive and not a piece of waste. For two; I pray that if this is a life-long affliction I want a career that will match up to this lifestyle. …If I want to call it that?  If I wake up with a headache, I can go to the computer and still be productive at my own pace.  If I have to show up to an event, I can get through a couple of hours, besides I won’t have a migraine at every event.  Also, most of my headaches dissipate after 5:00 p.m. and for the release of pain, I get energy in exchange.  I can stay up all night writing if I want.  Or clean the house all night and get in a good work out without worrying about getting up for work in the morning.

This will work, if I can just step into my “Flow” as Oprah puts it, and meet the people I am supposed to meet and behave when my instinct tells me to act.

“If anything, I want the opportunity to be proven wrong.  I’m kind of surprised no one has taken me up on that offer,” says the defeatist voice that is my headache.

See why it is hard to take this thing out in public.  Although it does make for some exceptional character building.

12-29-2016 woke up with migraine quality headache.  Inflammation from geographic tongue has been reduced although white rings still present, with no new blooms.

Four days from start of inflammation of the tongue to migraine is questionable.  So is it connected or did I introduce something else?

  • I had Hershey’s hugs yesterday, which doesn’t make sense because I’ve had bits of chocolate everyday since Christmas.
  • Did painting my tongue and tonsils with Benadryl delay the migraine?
  • Also I’m trying to not put too much stake in this round because of a head cold.

 

New Year; New Project

I didn’t blog about quitting smoking because I wanted to avoid accountability.  I was going to quit smoking, because I was going to quit, not because I was going to do it in front of an audience.

I made the right choice.  I’m glad I didn’t quit smoking in public.  Although as a writer; now I’m thinking if I blogged through my year of quitting maybe I would have built a platform.

It’s hard building a platform about quitting smoking in hindsight. Smokers are curious about how to quit but they really don’t want anyone to dictate their quit. That is why nothing works. They just want to buy the book, go off in private to read it, extrapolate what pertains to them, then go quit on their own terms.  Then move on with their life as a non-smoker.

If I am going to create a following, or a platform, I think I am going to start with something new, even though it may not be the same subject as my book. This will help me collect some notes, test some theories, and document what I remember from way-back when. This way it is live and ongoing and people could check in every-once in a while.

Besides, I don’t want to finish writing this book and then set up shop to be a smoking cessation coach.  I am a writer who wants to sell books.  When I am done writing this book, I want to hit the road to promote it and continue working on my next book and add a third book and a fourth book etc.

Anyway, I plan on attacking this like I did quitting smoking; with a calendar, note my activities, be aware of cause and effect, and question everything.  This time I think I will hit the blogosphere instead of a notebook.

NaBloPoMo 6:Independent Career

img_1319   I am a writer. I write almost daily, not just when it is convenient, nor only when I feel like it.  I have subject matter.  I have a demographic of 41 million people in the USA alone. People express curiosity about my subject matter. My dilemma; do I seek representation or do I self-publish?

My goal is to be a writer independent of a day job.  As long as I am working toward that goal, I don’t care if I get there by agent and publishing company or if I get there by self-publishing.

The problem is that I keep flip-flopping between using my writing time to seek an agent or editing my book.  So far writing a proposal has served me well for creating a business plan in case I do not find an agent.

The more I study techniques to find an agent the more I feel shoved out as a person they do not want.  Unless, I do more work to gain a following that actually enhances my ability to successfully self-publish.

My time has value.  An agent’s time has value.  A publicists time has value. A publishing company’s time has value.  I’m sure if we all got together we’d work to produce something of value.

One day I will see how my success plays out.  I find that interesting.

NaBloPoMo 4: Voting

IMG_1315.jpg

Tonight, I’m exercising my independence by studying ballot issues.  Voting local is where your vote counts.

NaBloPoMo 2: Independent From

stick7flags_821092151

Independent From

The clarity I received from understanding the difference between being independent and independent from was the origin for this exercise.

Once I understood that I had independence and it wasn’t necessarily something that I had to win, nor declare, sight changes in my behavior came from this new state of being.

It is funny how one little word can skewer the interpretation that leads to dictate ones actions.

BTW this did not fix everything because I still feel that I’m not quite owning up to the life I believe I am supposed to be living, but I quit wasting energy where I didn’t need to be wasting energy. That alone was so freeing.

I don’t have to parry over every opinion of my mothers because I’m independent and I don’t have to gain independence from her.  Because I am an adult I inherently have that independence.  Think of all the energy that could have been saved if I cued in on that the minute I turned eighteen.

I could listen to people without trying to prove that I had independent thought [from…].  So I could just let them talk.

The law is the law, I don’t have to rail against government to gain my independence from it.

I have nothing to prove.

I am independent.

I am independent among a collective of independents.  That defines America. WoW!

%d bloggers like this: