Tag Archives: Social

NaBloPoMo 2: Independent From


Independent From

The clarity I received from understanding the difference between being independent and independent from was the origin for this exercise.

Once I understood that I had independence and it wasn’t necessarily something that I had to win, nor declare, sight changes in my behavior came from this new state of being.

It is funny how one little word can skewer the interpretation that leads to dictate ones actions.

BTW this did not fix everything because I still feel that I’m not quite owning up to the life I believe I am supposed to be living, but I quit wasting energy where I didn’t need to be wasting energy. That alone was so freeing.

I don’t have to parry over every opinion of my mothers because I’m independent and I don’t have to gain independence from her.  Because I am an adult I inherently have that independence.  Think of all the energy that could have been saved if I cued in on that the minute I turned eighteen.

I could listen to people without trying to prove that I had independent thought [from…].  So I could just let them talk.

The law is the law, I don’t have to rail against government to gain my independence from it.

I have nothing to prove.

I am independent.

I am independent among a collective of independents.  That defines America. WoW!

NaBloPoMo 2016

img_0441I have been thinking about doing a daily examination of the word Independence. I figured NaBloPoMo would be a good tie in and get me posting again.  The last time I did this I took a cue from NaNoWriMo and wrote 1,500 words on one thing that drove me nuts about quitting smoking everyday.  But I did it in .pages.  It was a raw, whiney, rough draft that I could clean up before going public. I hope my writing and POV have matured since then.

BTW I am still working on that book.  I made a goal to be finished or find an agent by the end of the year.  Well I finally finished part one and the rest of the time I’ve been working on things agents want, such as an outstanding query letter a proposal.

Actually, I don’t mind working on the proposal even though it takes my attention away from the book, because it is like a business plan. If I don’t get an agent in the next nine weeks, I know what my next step is when I finish writing. I have a plan.

Plus, on top of that and a full time job, I just started doing some lessons on the Kahn Academy website, so I have been flip-flopping between that and the examination of Independence.  May as well just do it because I won’t be able to see if I fail or not unless I start.

The real question is, could I possibly have thirty essays defining the word Independence??  Curious.

Fruity Friday Event: Patience


It’s Saturday!  Right off the bat I miss a deadline.  Proof that I did not become perfect from this fruity experiment.

I lost my near perfect draft because I had the “swipe pages” activated on my mouse and I guess I accidentally swiped.  I about died when I recovered a draft that was garbage from all the cutting and pasting to perfect my work.

It was two in the morning, further proof that slipping into old habits weren’t going to make things happen.  So I made a quick comment so the people who liked or commented would get the virtue of the week and I figured, regrettably, that I’d start a new post in the morning.

I still couldn’t recover the draft.  Disillusioned, I went for a walk/run to the location of my new job.  (I just got ANOTHER new job.  My last day at my old new job was Thursday, the night I lost the draft.  That was proof the job didn’t jive with my personal life.) Anyway.  I went grocery shopping.  I hung out with my husband.  I entertained visitors.  I went visiting.

What I didn’t do?

  • I didn’t wallow in embarrassment that I missed a deadline in front of the ENTIRE blogosphere.  Especially those who joined the event.
  • I didn’t cry it’s not fair, because I worked so hard and my intentions were good then demand that it should have worked based on that criteria.
  • I didn’t toss and turn all night.  I went to bed and I went to sleep.
  • I didn’t let it wreck my good day.

Now don’t get me wrong.  I wasn’t happy about it.  I didn’t celebrate losing it.  Periodically I would check back in with the problem, groan about my options, then get back to my day.

This morning I logged on because the a.m. is my time to write and I had those options to follow through on.  When the software asked to restore a recent back up that was in my browser, I got curious and I made a couple more attempts and I found a draft that was a bit rougher than the near perfect one.

What I did do and didn’t do are HUGE changes for me.  They are less self-destructive and less miserable.  Because of this fruity experiment, the moments I’m excited are more than the moments when I’m stressed.

Here is what’s relevant from yesterday’s fiasco.


I love a good Ah-Ha moment.

A person gets so excited about the stroke of brilliance that they usually don’t concern themselves with the regret of not thinking of it sooner.

The epiphany about an epiphany is that once you see it, that’s the way you see things.

You know what?  I quit smoking and regret for quitting sooner doesn’t factor into it.  I agree, all those years I smoked were a waste, yet I am so happy that I quit, I have no regret.  It’s intriguing to ask, “Does creating change induce the fear of living in regret?”  If that is the case, wouldn’t that fear prolong the quit and induce more regret for not quitting sooner?

When I think about the topic of smoking, I’m glad I quit.  It feels good and that’s it.

I love how a good Ah-Ha moment feels.  It reverberates.  It tingles, my shoulders relax, I perk up and stand taller.  I feel right with the universe.  I feel like I’ve gained knowledge with this new insight.  That makes me feel I’ve matured.  Not matured as if I’d just aged, but matured as if I gained power and I’m young enough to use it.

And that is the point.



Patience is the virtue for this Fruity Friday.

To start things off, think of how close Patience is to Self-control and learn how to separate the two.  Then see how using Patience is showing Kindness, spreading Goodness, Gentleness and demonstrating Faithfulness.  This is a mind-bender and part of the process.  In fact I nearly gave up because it appeared repetitive.  Then flip it and see how they stand apart from each other.  I’m glad I didn’t because each one had an impact on my perspective.

I may instruct you on how to get into observation mode, but the best part of this event is you come up with the answers.  I don’t tell you what to say.  I don’t tell you how you should feel, nor do I tell you how to act or react.  In any given situation you will have the best read on things going on in that moment.  More than anyone else who will not be in that moment with you.

Tune in to your surroundings.  Whenever you feel that quickening to be immediate, or feel the pressure of right now, or the urge to snap at someone out of being impatient, merely pause, remember that everything is okay, then move forward with your options.  It is also good to test the results of doing nothing.  Do nothing but watch and learn, that is.

Remember to trust yourself.  Your not going to do anything that will result in losing your job, getting a divorce or intentionally harming someone.  Are you really that mean or that stupid? Give yourself credit.

Oh yeah, and stay away from admonishments of patience.  There is nothing naughty about this.  The exercise isn’t to shame, restrain, or punish impatience.  The goal is to find what to do INSTEAD of being impatient.

Finally next Friday, go to your blog and write about one of the many profound events you had during the week and add a link to this post.  If you are following this blog, you should receive an email that details my experience with Patience and the virtue for next weeks event.

Happy Observing,

Happy Writing!

Blog On!

On Writing

Writing is one big, long prayer.

Whether it is non-fiction or dressed up as fiction, writing tells it how it is, demonstrates what is going on, shows how it could be.

It admits guilt, addresses hate, pride, fear, and calls for change.

It celebrates the good in the most profound way.

Similarly it’s perfect in its imperfection.  Could always do better, use another word, … always an incomplete sentence or an incoherent thought.  You only know if you’ve done a good job if you’ve come away both spent and energetic, purged but full, and nothing has changed, but… yet, something has.

Day 3 Blogging 101: Get To Know The Neighbors

Don’t Fear The Reader, I did most of my work last time around.  The first time around, working on my theme fell over unto this assignment and I just clicked on the reader, tried to figure out what it was and called it good.

This time since I am already happy with my reader I was able to stretch myself a bit. These tags seem so simple but I was able to get to a place where I could lighten up.

My Reader tags for today are:

  • Purple
  • Spring
  • Summer
  • Winter
  • Autumn
  • Norway

Not to mention last week I entered Garden and Flowers

The sites I visited were

  1. https://thereviewnerd.wordpress.com
  2. https://melindathesmootsmith.wordpress.com
  3. http://kelliblogs.com
  4. http://awayfromthenoise.com
  5. http://johannamassey.com

Between getting caught up in other people’s blogs and one night of going to bed early, I’m already starting to slip behind.  It’s not too bad though because I’m enjoying the work.

See you in the next assignment!

If We All Sat Around Thinking Good Things, I Bet Something Spectacular Would Happen.

Think about it.  If we all sat around thinking good things, something spectacular is bound to come from that.

Our political system would certainly change.

I don’t ascribe to the, “Idle hands is the devils playground” theory.   Well, not completely, because afterwards we’d all be off our butts living out the idea, so then we wouldn’t be idle.

In some ways we already do this with Art and new inventions.

The key here is to think good thoughts and to continue thinking good thoughts as the spectacular thing comes about.  We would have to redirect contention, competition, jealousy and frustration as we moved along.

Anyway… it’s a nice thought.  I’d love to be a part of that experiment, both on a smaller scale of locking a group of people in a room until we come up with something, or on a broader scale with everyone in the country/continent taking 2-5 minutes thinking nothing but good thoughts.

Technology and Social Disconnection

Often times I see and hear summations like these.  BTW this is repetitive, so I’m not going to single out any ONE person who said it or quote it.

When approaching total strangers for a project to explore connectedness/disconnectedness of todays technology what they get instead is question about their motives.

“Are you doing this for a school project?”
“Who do you guys work for?”

“There is always a surprise that we do this for no monetary value or a grade. That’s indicative of our culture: You can’t just do a project. We don’t do anything for free or collaborate just for fun.”


Say what?  That’s indicative of our culture???   No it’s not.  It is the basic quality of human nature: curiosity.  Find out why?

Not to mention it is training from stranger danger.  Don’t give out any personal information because the whole world is out to get you.

How about scheduling?  Do I have enough time to stop what I am doing to wax random philosophical opinions.

Time and time again we point out a flaw and we result in bashing someone else good idea.  Or Training for that matter.

I can also change the subject and point out that this is a classic case of trying to control others and not yourself.

It takes guts to approach random strangers and ask them to join in with you on your project and yet you want to bash them the minute they do and call it their fault for making you feel weird.

Moreover; it just a summation of of you think, does anyone stop to ask why they reacted this way?  In this case why are asking why?  Besides if you did, they’d be so flummoxed at questioning a natural response they wouldn’t be able to think of an answer until later.  MUCH later.

And… with accusations like this … no wonder we turn to technology to communicate.  Because we have lost all our patience and self-control in face to face conversations.

I see the technological advances as a natural response to stranger danger.  You might see me on my noon break zombie eating while I’m staring at the phone, but what I know I’m doing is having a very intimate moment connecting with my kids.  I might be reading a novel that is the next greatest cultural impact on my phone, which no one would question if I had brought in the book.  They’d all be jealous that I had time to read.

Anyway.   More on this topic later..

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